Hard to say for sure, there are so damned many of them here in Germany. This year’s “Die Ängste der Deutschen 2009” (German Fears 2009) study seems to indicate that the fear of the year is, understandably, the economic situation.
But then some of the other top fears get broken down by region: The Bavarians are worried most about natural catastrophes, the Hessians lose sleep over terrorist attacks and the Berliners are apparently frightened silly about becoming invalids, dependent on care (a Pflegefall), which, if you stop to think about it, they needn’t be. They already are.
“Aber das durchschnittleiches Angstniveau ist nicht gestiegen.”
“How could these anarchists have tricked security personnel and climbed the Reichstag dome in full mountaineering gear?”
See the shocking video or something, but only first after the obligatory short commercial break.
Repeat after me time and time and time again, preferably in your sleep: “The people want a future without atomic power.” And we, as in they, as you know, are the people, after all. And they always know what’s best for us.
“Die Menschen wollen eine Zukunft ohne Atomkraft.”
The polls are leaking! The polls are leaking! It’s that newfangled American Twitter nonsense, I tell ya.
„The apparent illegal leaking of exit polls for German regional elections (in Twitter) has raised concerns weeks before the country’s general election. Forecasts for Sunday’s results in Saarland, Thuringia and Saxony appeared on Twitter 90 minutes before polling stations closed in the three states.“
Wow. That actual exit polls were never released or that the numbers released were nothing more than educated guesses, that doesn’t interest anyone, of course. Concerns have been raised, and that’s the main thing. And oh, wait a minute! I have another newfangled idea for you here: Why not forget about polls altogether and just vote your conscience no matter what? Nah. I’d better see what Twitter tells me first.
Oh brother. It’s good-old German Techno-Angst all over again (they only like Techno music). They’re always frightened of technology that isn’t their own, especially if it comes from you-know-where.
“Es wäre der GAU, wenn die Wählerbefragungen vor Schließung der Wahllokale öffentlich bekanntwürden.”
How dull are they, you ask? Sure, we’re in the middle of a giant Sommerloch (the “summer hole”, that boring, no-news summer season when most media drones appear to be on vacation), or just crawling back out of it again. But opposition politicians trying to turn a dinner party hosted by Angela Merkel (16 months back) “that included the chief executive of Deutsche Bank, Josef Ackermann, and 30 other guests, contending that she used taxpayers’ money to celebrate Mr. Ackermann’s 60th birthday” into a campaign issue?
Now that’s dull. And the election is just a few weeks out too, in case you were wondering, which you weren’t, especially now after having read this.
No matter. I’m sure that once everyone has climbed back out of this year’s summer hole the campaigning will get a whole lot more interesting. No I’m not. That was just like a figure of speech or something.
“The dinner was not a birthday party, but a dinner of schnitzel and cold asparagus for people prominent in business, culture, science and education, including Mr. Ackermann.”
Remember when the image of a light bulb used to represent having a good idea? Well an EU ban ushering in the replacement of traditional light bulbs with the more energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulb (CFL) type has got everybody in Germany coming up with a bright new idea of their own: Hoarding the old ones.
Sure it’s bureaucracy gone wild again, but it’s only for your own good again, folks. And this way, with you guys doing all that hoarding, everybody wins. The producers and sellers of those bad old evil old light bulbs included.
“Hardware stores and home-improvement chains in Germany are seeing massive increases in the sales of the traditional bulbs. Obi reports a 27 percent growth in sales over the same period a year ago. Hornbach has seen its frosted-glass light bulb sales increase by 40-112 percent. When it comes to 100-watt bulbs, Max Bahr has seen an 80 percent jump in sales, while the figure has been 150 percent for its competitor Praktiker.”
„Wiesner recounts a story of how one of his field representatives recently saw a man in a hardware store with a shopping cart full of light bulbs of all types worth more than €200 ($285). “That’s enough for the next 20 years.“
Sure we still do, but still. Talk about a product that’s going to sell like hotcakes. A Munich research team has come up with a new drug which will combat panic attacks. It’s called XBD173 and stands for “eXtremely Beneficial Drug after 173 tries”, I think. Or maybe it means “eXtremely Buzzed Doctors after 173 tries”, hard to say for sure. Or how about “eXcellent Bitchin’ Dope, Dude”? Nah, that’s with two Ds.
Anyways, this stuff will supposedly take care of your panic attacks in no time (and don’t pretend like you don’t have any because we all know you do). It messes with nerve cell receptors, should you still have any, and prevents them from passing on critical Angst chemicals to other nerve cell receptors long dependent on the stuff, should you still have them, too (Angst is German for angst, by the way). Sure everybody will be going through a little cold turkey for a while. But this is science. So shut up and bite the bullet already.
Unfortunately though, it may take another ten years to get this product on the market. And that could be too late for some of us, like me. And just thinking about that puts me in a panic already.
„Die Pharmaindustrie unterstütze die Entwicklung.“
PS: Have you ever noticed that we live in an angst-driven economy/culture/world/life? This drug may not be a good thing after all, in other words. My suspicion: The usual suspect dark forces are actually behind this development. Think about it (OK, stop now you’ve thought about it enough). Maybe we should just say no…
Still pretending like he and his SPD comrades have a sliver of a glimmer of a smidgen of a shred or sniff of a prayer of a ghost of a chance of doing well in Germany’s upcoming parliamentary election, Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier is boldly going where no man in his position has never not gone before and taken the offensive by claiming that everything is wide open and that “we will keep it open and win in the end.”
Just how he plans to do this when only about 25 percent of Germans polled would even consider voting for the Social Democrats is not clear, but you have to admire him for doing the only thing left open for him to do. Actually you don’t have to, if you stop and think about it, but still.
„The party drew a record-low 20.8 percent of the vote in European parliamentary elections a week ago.“
Remember Bruno the Bear? Hunters in northern Germany are still pissed off about not having had a chance to take a shot at him, down south. So I guess that’s why they’ve begun knocking off the wolves up north.
Famous for their greenish, back-to-nature attitudes, Germans nevertheless detest disorder of any kind and German hunters appear to be the worst about this kind of thing. These wolves aren’t supposed to be here, you see. They came in illegally over the Polish border a while back and have been, well, breeding like rats ever since. It’s time to take action or something.
You know, like that scene in the Kevin Costner movie? It’s the Wild West all over again over here, only it’s in the Wild East this time.
“Es gibt Grund zu der Vermutung, dass der Jäger wusste, worauf er schoss.”
The six month honeymoon between Germany and President Obama, I mean. Well at least that’s how much time I gave them.
There’s already a wide spectrum of wonderfully hurt feelings out there everywhere these days. Chancellor Merkel’s pampered days of back-rubs, barbecues and regularly held video conferences seem to have been replaced by what many see here as intentional slights coming from Washington. These seem to have begun sometime in, let me see, well, in January.
And then this Opel number yesterday. Sure it’s evil GM all over again, but they are not alone this time. At an all-night “Opel summit” rescue session held especially in the Chancellery (this needless to say big medicine for Merkel and Co. in an election year) only a few low-level reps from Treasury even bothered to show up. And the American government has a lot to say about the matter at the moment, as you well know. The “summit” was a mega flop, of course, and the Germans are clearly outraged at not having their concerns taken seriously, yet again.
Stay tuned and let’s see what doesn’t get taken seriously next. I’ll still give the honeymoon another month or two, though. I’m just that kind of an optimistic guy.
„Some in Berlin have suggested that Obama is still punishing Merkel for not allowing him to speak at the Brandenburg Gate when he passed through Berlin last summer in the midst of his rousing campaign for the presidency.“
It is unrealistic to expect people to see you as you see yourself. If people reach conclusions based on false impressions, they are the ones hurt rather than you, because it is they who are misguided. When someone interprets a true proposition as a false one, the proposition itself isn't hurt; only the person who holds the wrong view is deceived, and thus damaged. Once you clearly understand this, you will be less likely to feel affronted by others, even if they revile you. You can say to yourself, "It seemed so to that person, but that is only his impression."
Posted by Hermann Observer 
Posted by Hermann Observer 
Posted by Hermann Observer 
